So my hubby asked me what I wanted for the "Red Hallmark Made Up Holiday" as he so eloquently puts it. Two things immediately come to mind, neither of which are gifts. The first being, of course he has no clue who St. Valentine was and has completely abandoned his Catholic roots, but nevetheless I keep praying. The second is being subtle is lost on a man. I mean really, "What do I want?" I am happy that he even remembered but gee whiz don't ask me what I want? It takes the fun out of it.
Anywho, I told him to get me flowers (duh!), a card (double duh!), & I wanted a Mercy Me cd entitled 'Undone'. So I get the cd & open the cover to read the intro & I was blown away by what Bart had said. First he quoted Phillipians 3 from the Message Bible then he goes on to write the following: "We decided on the title "undone" because it sums up where we are as a ministry & as individuals. We thought we knew where we were headed until Christ stepped in & everything came "undone". While His plans came together, our plans came unraveled. I believe that is exactly where God wants us...undone. Incomplete. Unsettled with what we think is best, & embracing Christ, who know's what's best. Trust me, we will never know all the answers or have it all together, but thankfully, we know who does. Undone, Bart"
That pretty much sums it all up for me. The minute I think I know exactly where I'm headed, BOOM! Everything comes undone & God's plan step in. I mean literally. Just like when I thought I didn't need marriage, then when I was perfectly happy with zero children, we get five in four years - talk about coming unglued! The hardest thing for me is to accept what He wants to give me instead of continually turning the pages of my imaginary catalog & asking Daddy for everything else on the pages. Of course He knows what's best for me but why is it so hard to accept?
Clearly I can't see the beauty that lies ahead because my head is down from being too focused on what is right in front of me. I don't have time to smell the flowers or enjoy the sunrise/sunsets because I am constantly needed, wanted or pulled in six different directions. So as Bart puts it "this is exactly where God wants me to be...undone. Incomplete. Unsettled with what 'I' think is best, & embracing Christ, who knows what's best."
I never expected to be thrown into this adulthood that has become my life - wife, mother of five, parents recently deceased, grieving over a sister who went home to the Lord over 5 years ago, immediate family is miles away, and the list goes on and on. But the last song in this cd (which is now my favorite Valentine's Day gift ever) sums it up for me even more:
"Another rainy day / I can't recall having sunshine on my face / All I feel is pain / All I wanna do is walk out of this place / But when I am stuck, I can't move / When I don't know what I should do / When I wonder if I'll ever make it through // But I gotta keep singing / I gotta keep praising Your name / You're the one that's keeping my heart beating / I gotta keep singing / I gotta keep praising Your name / That's the only way that I'll find healing / Can I climb up in Your lap / I don't wanna leave / Jesus sing over me / I gotta keep singing // Oh You're everything I need / And I gotta keep singing."
Keep Singing, Words & Music by Bart Millard, Barry Graul & Peter Kipley
